She and he

dzīves daļā, jo tad mums viss šķiet pilnīgi skaidrs. Taču tad, kad esam izgājuši cauri vairākiem pieredzes lokiem, krituši, sasitušies un varbūt nedaudz pamodušies dzīves sarežģītībai vai... vienkāršībai, tā vairs nedomājam.

Gadu gaitā esmu sapratis, ka attiecības ir daudz plašāks un sarežģītāks esības apgabals, nekā gribētos teologiem, psihologiem, biologiem un pašiem attiecību partneriem.

Lai godīgi un jēgpilni risinātu attiecību jautājumus, mūsdienās nepieciešama iekļaujoša, integrāla pieeja. Mēs – dažādu jomu labāki vai sliktāki profesionāļi varam ietiepīgi palikt tikai pie savām pieejām, taču tad var gadīties, ka mūsu padomi drīz vairs nevienam nebūs vajadzīgi. Un nevis tāpēc, ka cilvēki būtu kļuvuši stulbi un aprobežoti, bet tāpēc, ka viņi nereti jūt – mūsu ieskati ir vienpusīgi, tajos nav iekļauti visi aspekti, līdz ar to tie traucē saredzēt kopīgo dzīves bildi. Ja sniedzam labi gribētas, bet vienpusīgas atbildes, tām parasti ir blaknes, kuras vienā jomā palīdz, taču vienlaikus kādā citā jomā var situāciju vēl vairāk sarežģīt." Juris Rubenis

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Juris Rubenis
He and She
Love Relationships Sex

"Almost everyone writes about love, relationships, and sex. Can you imagine any of the glossy 'lifestyle' magazines daring to ignore these topics? It seems that everything should be clear by now. And yet, perhaps precisely because of this, there is a lot of misunderstanding, foolishness, and confusion in this area. What are our relationships? What do they really mean? What could they mean? These seem like silly questions in the first part of life because at that time, everything seems completely clear to us. But then, after we have gone through several circles of experience, fallen, gotten hurt, and perhaps awakened a little to the complexity or... simplicity of life, we no longer think that way.

Over the years, I have realized that relationships are a much broader and more complex realm of existence than theologians, psychologists, biologists, and the relationship partners themselves might wish.

To address relationship issues honestly and meaningfully, an inclusive, integral approach is necessary today. We, as better or worse professionals from different fields, can stubbornly stick to our own approaches, but then it may happen that our advice will soon be unnecessary for anyone. And not because people have become stupid and narrow-minded, but because they often feel that our insights are one-sided, lacking all aspects, and therefore hinder seeing the overall picture of life. If we provide well-intentioned but one-sided answers, they usually have side effects that help in one area but at the same time can further complicate the situation in another area." Juris Rubenis